i'll never stop

because i don't know how.

and the pieces come crashing down on me.

everything that comes so easily when i'm half awake or half asleep or half alive is turned to dust the moment my eyes are open. i know i'm going to dwell on these things until they kill me. i can't help but think that's not going to be too long from now.

i've done a great job of making sure that nothing has worked out the way it should have worked out so far. i just hope so much with my entire tired heart that i have more time.

you have to stop breaking my heart in all these small ways.

life is a (bona) drag

never again will there ever be a better time to say or do something or anything but i wouldn't or couldn't. whatever, the night ended like every other one.

always the hardest mile

we have to stay so fucking strong when it's so fucking hard.

longest month of my life.

if only i had seen this a year ago. the entire world would be different.

no shelter from the storm

hitting the bottom to claw my way to top. or somewhere in the middle, at least. i'm high on borrowed time. the clouds are closing in.

force the air into my lungs

thought i saw god the other day. i didn't. this tunneling is catching up with me and i just hope i haven't dug too far to find my way back out. waking up still too drunk to be hungover after not enough sleep in an unfamiliar bed. there will never be enough showers to really get clean.

redo

second verse, as bad as the first.